


Hands Off

by petzawentz



Series: Kommienezuspadt [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Magic, Domestic Fluff, It's kind of like a timeline of their relationship i guess?, M/M, Magic Realism, Witchcraft, mixed in with a little bit of odd stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 12:24:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8533000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petzawentz/pseuds/petzawentz
Summary: When Tyler had asked Josh to marry him, it’d been a kind of spur of the moment thing, even though he’d been meaning to ask for nearly a month.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I.....have nothing to say honestly I don't know what this is.
> 
> Thank you Baz you're the best enabler <3

Josh groans as the spell he’s trying to cast flickers out. For the third time. In a row.

 

He sighs, and tries again, only for it to -wow surprise surprise- die before it even reaches the lawn ornament he’s trying to charm (it’s a gnome, and Josh is trying to make it weed his echinacea garden _damn it_ ). Conjurors are just not meant to cast spells.

 

He groans again, louder this time, and yet, is still ignored by his _always_ helpful husband. After a moment of glaring, that’s also ignored, he sighs in defeat.

 

“Hey Ty?” Tyler grunts, but doesn't take his gaze away from the book he’s reading. “Could you give me a hand? Please?”

 

Tyler smirks, then his left hand is spider-crawling down the couch and across the floor over to Josh. Josh huffs in annoyance.

 

“Tyler, that’s _not_ what I meant and you know it. Now _please_ help me?”

 

Tyler -the smug bastard- finally sets his book down, smirk still in place, and follows his hand over to Josh. As he reaches him, he gestures his arm out towards his hand, and lets it reattach itself. “I’m sorry Jishwa, did you need something?”

 

Josh pouts. “ _Ty_.”

 

Tyler can’t help himself, and his cocky smirk turns into a full blown grin. “You’re adorable when you’re frustrated, did you know that?”

 

Josh just continues to pout at him, and Tyler laughs as he turns to the gnome. He nods once, and it immediately heads out the door. Presumably right to the echinacea plot. Of course.

 

Tyler turns back to him, the smug smirk back on his face. “There, happy?”

 

Josh sighs, a smile threatening to break out. “As long as it doesn’t yell obscenities at anyone who visits this time.”

 

Tyler shrugs. “Oh come on, you have to admit the banshee screaming ‘fuck’ over and over? That was _sick_.”

 

Josh glares playfully at him, and takes a step closer to him. “I swear to Persephone Tyler, I _will_ ask Ashley for the curse she used that made your shoes scream, and spell casting issues be damned, I _will_ learn how to do it _perfectly_.”

 

Tyler laughs, and rests a hand on Josh’s waist. “But _Josh_ , it was hilarious!”

 

“We have neighbors Tyler! There are _children_!”

 

At this point, Josh is fighting back laughter of his own, and Tyler brings his other hand up to rest on the other side of his waist.

 

“That's what makes it _fun_ Josh, scandalizing the neighbors is the _best_.”

 

Josh hums, and brings his own arms up and rests them on Tyler’s shoulders. “Well, I suppose that's true…”

 

Tyler's grin widens, and he pulls Josh closer. “And you know what a really fun way to scandalize the neighbors is?” 

 

Grinning widely back at Tyler, Josh leans into him. “I have a feeling I might.”

 

Tyler huffs a laugh, then moves his hands slowly down Josh’s back -then ass, then thighs-, and lifts him up. Josh giggles as he wraps his legs around Tyler's waist, then presses a kiss to his lips, that slowly gets dirtier and dirtier as the minutes pass. 

 

When they finally pull away to take a breath, Tyler’s still grinning, and he pinches Josh’s ass as he begins climbing the stairs to their bedroom.

 

“C’mon babe, let's go scandalize some neighbors.”

 

\---

 

When Tyler had asked Josh to marry him, it’d been a kind of spur of the moment thing, even though he’d been _meaning_ to ask for nearly a month. 

 

Josh’s hands were in the bathroom, washing off all the dirt from when they had been in the garden digging up roots for some sort of elixir he was making, while Josh himself was still in the kitchen.

 

It was kind of a spur of the moment thing, but Tyler had grabbed the ring from where he’d stashed it under their bed with an easy concealing charm surrounding it, and slid it carefully onto the ring finger of Josh’s left hand. As long as he didn’t jostle them too much Josh probably wouldn’t notice them even being touched. Then he’d gone back to the office, and waited.

 

It took exactly thirteen minutes and seven seconds for Josh to yell, “Tyler Joseph, what in the _fuck_ is this?”

 

When Tyler had made his way to the kitchen, Josh was standing in the middle of it, right hand covering his mouth, his left hand held in front of his face, and tears welling up in his eyes.

 

Tyler had smiled nervously, and moved farther into the kitchen until he was in front of Josh, then lowered himself onto one knee.

 

“Josh, this is me asking you to-”

 

Josh rolled his eyes, a little bit hysterically. “Oh fuck off I know what this is.” 

 

The next second, Tyler had a lap full of crying, emotional Josh, who was simultaneously saying “yes yes yes” over and over while kissing every inch of Tyler’s face available.

 

Tyler had laughed, more relaxed than he’d been all month, then picked Josh up and carried him to their bedroom to have his wicked way with.

 

\---

 

They had decided to only do a mostly traditional wedding. They kept the blood rituals, and the magic combining, and the bonding of souls; however, they’d chosen to forego the sacrifices and vampire’s blood ale, as Tyler’s sister had been pregnant at the time.

 

The wedding theme colors had been a beautiful shade of blue, and both Tyler and Josh had cried. So had their parents, and their siblings, and even Tyler and Josh’s familiars.

 

It was an all around beautiful affair, but by the end of it, they were both glad it was over, so they could get back to life as a couple.

 

\---

 

The honeymoon? Egypt.

 

Nothing says romantic like exploring the deepest crevices of abandoned pyramids, and Josh and Tyler considered themselves lucky to be able to go on such an amazing vacation together. The amount of thought and creativity that went into some of the hexes and traps they had to dodge was so amazing, they’d taken notes to use in the final plans for the protection of their own home.

 

Like Tyler always said, a home was never _truly_ protected until at least one trap involved poisonous plants that could spit venom.

 

At one point during their pyramid adventures, Tyler misplaced his right hand for nearly half an hour, and Josh still swears that the only reason he helped him look for it, was because Tyler’s right handed, and he couldn’t have Tyler fingering him inadequately for the rest of their physical lives.

 

They didn’t spend the whole vacation relaxing though, because sightseeing was also a must. As well as some much enjoyed hotel time. They went swimming, took a couple’s class on proper hexing techniques involving camel bones, learned how to speak with sandstorms, then dyed Josh’s hair bright red.

 

It was definitely an adventure, and they planned on going back once every few years or so, just because they loved it so much. They'd have even moved there, if they weren't tied to where they lived so tightly (being the rulers of their community was pretty binding, thanks to the blood pacts).

 

\---

 

All in all, married life is treating them well, and as long as they both manage to keep certain body parts intact, and don't disturb the neighbors too much, things are going to stay that way for a long, _long_ time.


End file.
